Saying Goodbye. Again.

It is never easy saying goodbye. Again…for the last time in less than a year, it is even more difficult.

Kids might feel this way at the end of the school year. They think they won’t remember friends after such a long summer break.

Yet, after realizing that was “no big deal” they graduate from high school and everyone heads off to college in different directions. It’s more likely then, but for the true close friends, it might just be until the weekend.

For your own kids, they go off to college, you move them in, and then each time you bring them back after a holiday break, it’s hard, but you know you will see them again. It is just very (very) different than when they just used to go to school, Monday through Friday, and come back home each afternoon.

Then, your parents start aging. You start to help them do things that they used to do for you, in addition to doing things for themselves…after all, they taught you so much of what you know.

So. Yea. Things have definitely gotten tougher this year. Losing not one, but now two parents. It just didn’t seem like this would ever happen. They were so young, and then – they weren’t.

They say it’s harder because of the holidays. I’m not quite sure it would have mattered if it was just any old Tuesday…But, yes, Valentine’s Day and Christmas will never ever be the same.

Certainly Valentine’s Day wasn’t easy for dad. He was the man who had to say goodbye to the love of his life for over 60 years. They met and fell in love and got married so long ago…they were always together. Always. He wasn’t waiting for Christmas to come and go, one more holiday this year without her.

So, we now have to say it, too. How is that even possible, how do you say goodbye. How do you find the right words…

You can’t and you won’t. So, each day, you just have to live and make their legacy worthwhile.

Still, I am forever grateful that they met; they gave so much of themselves for others, especially for my husband and me.

Not only did they create a huge family that has become such an integral part of our lives; from siblings, to cousins, aunts and uncles and double firsts…

They were so much more than parents, so much more than grandparents. They were full time caregivers, literally helping raise our children. We never had to worry about…anything.

You know, the little things that stress parents out. Getting home late. What would happen if the kids got sick at school and had to come home; or, the big things, like getting hurt having to go to the emergency room. We never had to worry if they were safe, or if they were getting good advice from positive role models, or if they would know how to carry on a conversation with adults.

So, here we are and it isn’t something that people haven’t been through. We are not alone in our sadness. We are, however, fortunate to have so many strong, positive, loving memories to hold dear.

Of course:

  • We will still laugh at funny things they did and said.
  • We will smile when we think of all the places we went, the meals we ate, the TV shows and the movies we watched together.
  • We will tear up when we think of them, when we are doing something they would enjoy doing.
  • We will think, oh, mom or dad used to say that when we hear their voice in our head.
  • We will hope to be able to carry on traditions, as they would, making life as wonderful as we possibly can for our family and their future families, too.

Hopefully you don’t have empathy for this situation in your life, but, if you do – now, we understand what you went through, maybe. Sort of. Somehow similar, even if different. It is never easy, but yes. We are saying goodbye. Again.

~ Dawn aka Hat Girl

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